5 Reasons Why Coffee Will Be Important During the Zombie Apocalypse

Like any intelligent individual, I have my zombie invasion survival plan all worked out. I know what I’ll need to take with me, where to find weaponry – conventional and improvised, escape routes, food supplies, and so on. I’m sure you have one as well. But now I’m curious, have you considered the role coffee will play in your battle for survival? Don’t discount the dark nectar! Here’s 5 reasons why you should make sure you’ve included some bags of beans in your survival pack:

Stay Alert!


You can’t outrun zombies while you’re sleeping, and coffee will give you that extra boost when your fight or flight reaction kicks in. When your options are to be part of the quick or the dead, coffee will keep you on the quick side

 

Hide Your Scent!


Coffee naturally absorbs odors. Since zombies seem to hunt by scent, I suggest sprinkling used grounds around your campsite as you travel in order to mask your presence from the undead stalkers. Zombies aren’t smart enough to equate the smell of coffee with warm flesh, and doubly tragic, they don’t care for coffee, so this may give you an edge.

 

Fertilizer!


We all know that due to the sparseness of population, zombie infection spreads much more slowly through the country. That’s where the survivors will be, and survival will require a ready food source. That’s where a garden comes into play. When you’ve finally found an isolated defensible position, you’ll want to set up a high yield garden, and getting that extra yield means good fertilizer. Fortunately, used coffee grounds can be used to make a great compost. Once again, the amazing beans come through for you.

 

Diplomacy!


When the zombie apocalypse occurs, human culture is going to crumble, and we’re going to have to build new alliances. You’re probably not going to make it on your own, so you’ll want something to offer other groups of survivors in exchange for their loyalty and assistance. Might I suggest coffee? Next to ammunition, it’s hard to imagine a more coveted item. Everyone will want to be your friend if you have a supply of java.

 

Improvised Weaponry!


Let’s face it, not every survivor is going to be diplomatic. Some of them are going to believe that might makes right, and try to take what’s yours. What do you do? Take that scalding cup of coffee you were so diplomatically offering, and throw it in their face! Problem solved. And what happens if a zombie gets the drop on you and you don’t have your axe or shotgun handy? Well if you’re having some coffee, that kettle’s got to be nearby, right? I suggest one of those cast iron ones for your survival kit. Swing it good and hard and you’re sure to crush some zombie skull.

I hope you take my advice. If you do, I’ll see you at the bunker I’ve built out in the country. If you don’t, well, I’ll be sure to double tap when you’re shuffling in my direction.

 

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