I Never Saw Him Coming

P.J. Greetings, Boys and Ghouls. Today you’ll be pleased to know that I’ve secured another exclusive interview! I’m going to sit down and have a chat with none other than that handsome devil, the Invisible Man. Although he seems to be running late.

Invisible Man Late? I’ve been sitting here for the last half hour!

P.J. You have!? Oh geeze, I’m sorry! I just assumed that because I didn’t see… you…

Invisible Man Yeah, didn’t think of that, did you? Discrimination against the visibility impaired, that’s what that is.

P.J. Well I didn’t mean to, it was a mistake, I’m really sorry…

Invisible Man Hah! Nah, I just got here. I just had to give you some grief.

P.J. … right. Very funny. Well, shall we get down to the interview?

Invisible Man Sure. I don’t see why not.

P.J. I see what you did there.

Invisible Man Hey, you’re almost as good at this as I am! Anyways, interview. Go ahead, ask away.

P.J. Well, since this is for a coffee blog, I’ll start with my usual first question. How do you take your coffee?

Invisible Man I like to ask for a Grande quad-shot half-soy low-fat extra foam cappuccino in a Venti cup with extra whipped cream.

P.J. Why in the world do you order something that complex?

Invisible Man Hey, if you think baristas hate orders like that normally, imagine how stressed out they get when they think that they’re hearing things. Drives them nuts!

P.J. You’re a bit of a bastard, Griffin, you know that?

Invisible Man Can you blame me? You develop the greatest ability for practical jokes ever, and try not to use it.

P.J. Good point. So why did you start drinking coffee in the first place?

Invisible Man I need the extra energy. Being invisible has its perks, but it’s got downsides as well. People keep bumping into me. I need the caffeine kick in order to keep dodging them.

P.J. Huh, I see how that could be a problem

Invisible Man It all depends on how you view it.

P.J. So what’s the best thing about being invisible?

Invisible Man Being able to sneak out when your in-laws show up unannounced.

P.J. And the worst thing?

Invisible Man The fight you get into with your wife when you get back

P.J. How does she know you’re gone?

Invisible Man From the lack of complaining.

P.J. You have my sympathies. I suppose the fight must be quite the sight?

Invisible Man Yeah, and I should probably brace for it. The in-laws should be gone soon. I should head back.

P.J. You mean you used this interview to skip out on a visit?

Invisible Man Uh-huh. The little lady is gonna be mighty pissed off when I get there.

P.J. Ouch. Well, good luck. I’ll see you around.

Invisible Man I hope so. If my wife kills me over this, it’ll be hard to find the evidence.

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