Coffee With A Vampire

P.J.  Hi Everyone. I’m P.J. from the Coffee Shop of Horrors, and boy, do I have a treat for you today. I’ve been joined for an exclusive interview by none other than old Vlad himself. You don’t mind if I call you Vlad, do you?

Dracula  If you do, I shall impale your head upon a spike in my yard as a warning to others.

P.J.  Mr. Dracula it is! Well, Mr. Dracula, I’m glad you could join me.

Dracula  Count, please.

P.J.  Umm… ok… one, two, three, four…

Dracula  No, no. Call me Count.

P.J.  Oh! Alright. Well Count, I’m glad you could join me. I’m sure our readers are just fascinated to know more about you. And the big question on everyone’s mind is, how do you take your coffee?

Dracula  Ah, well, behind this stern facade, I really am a normal kind of guy. I like it with a shot of cream, a spoon of sugar, and a few drops of virgin blood, to add that piquant charm to it.

P.J.  Of course. Just like any normal guy has his coffee. Um. Tell me Count, when do you usually drink your coffee? Are you a cup first thing in the morning kinda guy?

Dracula  Well, I never have been much of an early riser. I do not much care for sunrises. Ah-hah. No, I like it as a pick me up after a long flight. The night can get so chill, and it’s nice to have something piping hot to put your cold hands around after you’ve landed.

P.J.  Cold hands? Surely you travel first class? Whatever plane you’re on has to have climate control, doesn’t it?

Dracula  Who said anything about an airplane?

P.J.  Ah. Right.

Dracula  You know, it is a funny thing, I wasn’t always a coffee drinker. It used to be hard to get, and I didn’t really see the point.

P.J.  Really? What changed that?

Dracula  A coffee convention came to town. I decided to stop by, see what was going on, and grab a snack. Do you know just how much caffeine courses through the body of your average coffee roaster? One little drink, and I was hooked!

P.J.  So, was it A Positive experience? You were in the right vein? The addiction caught you by the jugular?

Dracula  You know, that head on a pike option is still on the table.

P.J.  Oh! Um.. right. Well, thank you for your time Count. It was great being able to talk to you.

Dracula  We should do this again. Perhaps I could have you over for dinner?

P.J.  It’s been a pleasure! Gotta go! Bye!

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