A Hair Raising Interview

P.J. Hello again boys and ghouls. I have a special treat for you today. I’ve managed to track down the wolfman for an exclusive interview! We’re going to have a howlingly good time today!

Wolfman That was horrible. Also, I prefer Canid-American. Werewolf has such negative connotations, don’t you think?

P.J. Oh! Sorry about that.

Wolfman Quite alright, good sir. I do understand that it’s part of the popular vernacular, but I enjoy challenging preconceptions now and then.

P.J. Well, good for you. Given that, what are your preconceptions on coffee?

Wolfman Oh, I’m not much of a coffee drinker, really. I much prefer a nice cup of tea. Earl Grey is my standby, but a nice green tea or assam makes for a lovely change of pace.

P.J. Really? I have to admit, I’m a bit surprised. I didn’t expect a wolf… er… Canid-American to be so, well, refined.

Wolfman Oh? And what did you expect? A brutish blue-collar worker? A mountain man? Someone dressed in red plaid flannel hunting for his meals by smell and grunting unintelligibly in place of conversation?

P.J. Well, not that bad really, but, well, yeah, someone more down-to-earth.

Wolfman Oh pish-tosh! Lycanthropy – that’s the technical term for my condition, by the way, in case you didn’t expect me to be so well-learned – is only associated with such things because most of my kind who shun society for the wilderness also take the least care in hiding themselves. They think that just because people don’t normally travel to the backwoods that no one ever does. Tell that to several unfortunate campers.

P.J. But you’d decided to embrace what society has to offer?

Wolfman Indeed! Before I was bitten I already enjoyed the finer things in life, like this wonderful chai tea here, Just because I get extra cranky once a month doesn’t mean I can’t continue to do so.

P.J. So it hasn’t affected you negatively, then?

Wolfman Oh, quite to the contrary! In fact, my business has expanded by leaps and bounds. Our unofficial slogan has become ‘We devour the competition’

P.J. I really hope you don’t mean that literally

Wolfman I’ll just say that it’s helped me get ahead several times.

P.J. And you think I’m horrible?

Wolfman Ahaha! Touché my good man! Touche! Well, I really must be going. It will be a full moon soon and I really must be ready to face my rivals.

P.J. Um, good luck with that. Thank you for the interview.

Wolfman It’s been a pleasure. As the slang goes, smell you later.

P.J. Right. Remind me to stay upwind.

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