Interview with Frankenstein’s Monster

P.J.   Hi everyone, and welcome to another interview with a monster. The monster, in fact. Frankenstein’s Monster. I figured that since I’d already interviewed the doctor, that I should interview his creation as well. So… um… what should I call you?

Monster   Oh you can call me what everyone else calls me. ‘Eeeeek!’ or ‘What the hell is that!?’.

P.J.   Er.. I’m not sure if that will work very well…

Monster   Ahaha! Just kidding, my good man. Call me Clarence. I’ve always liked the name Clarence.

P.J.   Sure. Clarence it is. So tell me Clarence, how do you take your coffee?

Monster   Intravenously.

P.J.   Pardon?

Monster   Well, you did interview the doctor. He did tell you he pumped coffee through my veins, didn’t he?

P.J.   Oh! Yes, yes he did. I just figured you’d drink it as well

Monster   I do like a fine cup now and then. Since I get all the coffee I need via IV, however, I get only the finest beans for my drink..I spare no expense.

P.J.   You mean…

Monster   That’s right. Kopi Luwak. Oh, wonderful stuff. So rich and smooth.

P.J.   I… don’t think I’ll every be able to try that stuff. It’d just make me turn green.

Monster   Come again?

P.J.   Er, um, nothing! Say, when I interviewed the doctor, he seemed nervous. Would you happen to know why?

Monster   Oh, it’s just a little game we play. I drop by, get all dramatic, break a couple of things, threaten his life, and then stomp away while he’s hiding in a corner.

P.J.   Why would you do that?

Monster   Because he broke my chemex brewer! The clumsy oaf was off on another of his rants and knocked it right off the table! And you know how fragile those can be.

P.J.   Isn’t what you do taking it a little too far, though?

Monster   It was a very nice brewer.

P.J.   Yeah, but it’s just one thing…

Monster   You know, I don’t see any bolts holding your neck on. Shall we see how that works out for you?

P.J.   Uhhh… It’s been a pleasure speaking with you Clarence! Try not to lose your head! Bye-bye now!

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